TOGETHER 24/7 – ENGLISH VERSION

This post has taken me quite a while to write, simply because it’s a pretty personal post that takes up many sides of a story. But here it comes in anyway, and I hope this post answers some different questions I have received.

As most of you may know, Sverre and I are both dance partners and boyfriend/girlfriend. We live together, train together, travel together, etc. etc. That means we spend almost 24 hours a day together! This is not very easy always, but at the same time it can be absolutely amazing! In this post I intend to write a little about the challenges of this, but also about all the good things about it. But first a little background story:

Sverre and I have been dancing together since summer 2014 and became a couple in August that same year. We have known each other quite well since we were 12/13 years old. Back then we met at competitions and at training sessions etc. Sverre was a boy who was always in a good mood and it was impossible not to be charmed by him, but beyond that I had no idea that we could ever be more than friends. I actually thought he never looked at me that way!
But then it happened in August that Sverre took the step and planted a kiss on me, and tilted, we were more than friends. We have been together since then and had our ups and downs. But in spite of tough times, we have come through them as a stronger couple. 

  

1. We both have the same passion. 
We both love to dance! And having the same passion is definitely something that makes us stand stronger together. First, we get to do what we like best – together! And we are both ready and happy about to practice, and we don´t get questions like: “Why do you have to work out every day?” And similar. I have previously been in a relationship where the other party did not understand why it was so important for me to dance and why I absolutely had to work out every day. In addition, it was difficult for him to see me dancing and being so close with another boy. Luckily, I don´t have this problem with Sverre.

2. We have one person to share all the ups and downs with.
We experience so much together! Both inside the dance world and outside, and it is very enriching for our relationship, I would say. And when those heavy moments are there, you have a good, safe person to seek comfort from, who knows exactly what you are going through. You trust one another and can help each other and build each other up.

3. You get to know each other very well.
This is both positive and negative. After almost 3 years together as both a couple and dance partners, one becomes extremely familiar with each other. You know everything from what the person likes to eat, what makes him laugh, what’s good, what can be better, and especially you know all the little annoying habits the person has, hehe! And when you are around each other, all the time, it’s not easy to avoid getting on each others nerves …
At the same time, it is safe to know each other so well, because you know how to make things good again, make each other happy, and so on.

  

4. You get very good at communicating.
In any case, Sverre and I have learned to communicate better as we have come through discussions and arguments. You simply have to talk things through! When talking together, it is important that both people present their views on the matter and that both actually listen to what the other has to say. You have to “swallow some camels” occasionally, so this is important to be mentally prepared before you go into such a “make up” conversation. Occasionally, the mood is too timid that talk often ends up in a fight. So then we have occasionally written down what we think feel and given it to other so that you can peacefully think about the situation. Sometimes it’s more difficult than other times, but ultimately communication is the key to succeeding in a relationship. Especially in a dance relationship because ….

 

5. We have problems that “regular” couples don´t have.
For example, the partner “did not give anything on training today” or “were vey moody at training today” etc etc. There are sooo many things that can happen in the studio or on a competition, and unfortunately they are not always easily taken care of. And when you are as on top of each other as we are, it’s not always easy to “count to 10” and just sharpen. In addition to direct dance issues, there are other things like money, travelling, motivation, effort, etc. It is not always the same opportunities or willingness to do things, and then a lot of frustration can occur. This is especially why communicating is so insanely important. It’s probably my very best tip for couples who struggle, whether they are dance couples or girlfriend/boyfriend – talk to each other! No one can read thoughts, and it’s so much better to get things out and fix it up. Otherwise, it may be annoying for a long time, and before you know words of it, many small things have made the glass overfull.

I know well that I like to have control of everything and get pretty annoyed unless Sverre has it too. That’s why it’s quick to say things in a slightly sour way, and then Sverre gets annoyed at me because I’m being to angry. It can soon be a bad circle if you can not find a solution. With us, it helped to talk about it, and agreed that Sverre should take more responsibility himself, and I will try to stay a little bit outside, and maybe just give a nice reminder.

 

6. Do we have a bad day together, it will show in the dance.
It’s not always easy to just “pull yourself together” if you have problems with on private, and this can result in a bad atmosphere in the dance, angry looks and glances at each other, and not least zero “chemistry” on the floor. And if you don´t fix it fast, it will soon be a short exercise that results in a rushing out in tears. Yep this happens once in a while. But for our part, such kinds of things happened more often before than it does now because we have been good at talking to each other and agreeing how we want the other to provide messages or the like. Often, it’s not necessarily what is being said, but HOW is being said.

    
      

7. You forget to just be a couple.
Sometimes it’s just work, food, dancing, sleeping … and we completely forget to be a couple simply. And for our part, it is often in these periods that we go one another most on the nerves. When we manage to have fun together, take care of each other and give each other a little loving attention, it’s better. You get in a better mood and spend more energy. To argue takes very much energy that we want to use for other things!
 

8. You still get surprised. 
Both good and bad. Because when you dance together, you follow the development to each other and you can get engaged, impressed and really happy about how the other is dancing, fixing things, etc. etc. This is so fun and builds a relationship properly if you are good at praising each other when something is good. This applies to both the dance, but also outside! Just saying: Thank you very much for taking the dishes dear, I appreciate it! “May be crucial for the rest of the day!

But on the other hand, you are sometimes surprised at “how stupid people can be” haha. But it will always be like that …. because boys are boys, and we girls are girls, and we experience things differently. But AGAIN, therefore, it’s important to talk together. Tell the other person if something is not okay. While other things one simply has to be able to accept for what they are. One thing I really like about out relationship, is that we dare to be strange and lame in front of each other, and have so much fun together.

 

9. There are real feelings.
We love each other so, and so many places in the dance we do not have to fake it! And that makes our dancing even more fun. In rumba for example, we actually love each other at the same time, while we know how to temper and be a little “angry” in Paso Doble or Tango, and we know how much fun you can have together and try to show it in a playful jive or quickstep! We love to dance together and we love to show each other! Obviously, it is not said that this shows very good at a competition, simply because there is so much else that takes focus. You want to dance well technically, have a lot of energy, dance to the audience, get what you practiced last week..so etc etc. And then it’s often a little stressful.

In the studio you are so safe and there are no outstanding things that take a lot of focus, so it is obviously much easier there. So the job for us is simply to get what we do in the studio on to a competition floor. After all, it’s important to keep in mind why we bother to train many hours, day after day, week after week, year after year! Ultimately, because we love to dance. Yes, we want results, but to get it, I think you have to get along with what you do while pushing it up to the last second.

 

10. Best Friends
I would like to finish by saying that for me, Sverre has become my very best friend, the best dance partner I could imagine and a wonderful boyfriend!
A relationship will never be trouble-free, and I think you get stronger from having a couple of arguments once in a while. Imagine if you never argue, and then suddenly a giant problem comes up – then it’s okay to have some exercise haha! From joke to seriousness, I think you grow by solving conflicts together, in a good way. I could not ask for a better boy to spend so much time with! And I would definitely say that there are more positive sides than negative, and I would not have chosen to have it in any other way than I have now. I thank you for all the good experiences, thank you for your support and patience, and look forward to many more good memories! Above you will find pictures from some of the memories we already have!

 

xoxo

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